She can trigger the hate inside her easily. There are plenty of open wounds. Many of them are drying off, but the tiniest disappointment can immediately tear the skin and exert pain, hatred.
Like when someone replies with the classic sorry-too-busy via whatsaap, when another person never replies to her emails or viber messages, whenever she feels not important. There is a lot of ego and need for affirmation going on inside her.
She used to be someone whom people look up to, someone sparkling with achievements and initiatives, someone important.
But now, she is not important.
Someone tells her that live is a theater play. So, she tries to understand live differently. She had this sparkling and important character before and now she is assigned a different character: a common person. Someone doing her daily routines, not famous, not a sparkling star.
Like this flower... just be a flower, as flowers supposed to be.
She is getting used to her new character.
In this new character, she meets other people who are "playing" the famous and important character she used to play. Sometimes she feels jealous, in pain, hatred, when interacting with those people. She still craves for compliments and affirmations.
She wonders.... how can she better perform this layman character? How to be someone with no thirst for affirmation from others? How to be happy simply by doing regular day-in day-out routines?
She starts to identify other people who are assigned with this layman character and start listening to them. Many of them say that they are not lonely even when they are alone. Every now and then, quietly and modestly they celebrate their own achievements, they teach themselves to cherish that simple celebration. Yes, one can teach oneself and get used to it, just like a non vegetarian learns to be a vegetarian.
She starts to admire this common person character.
Maybe one day she will be assigned to a different character. Or can she choose?
Un Sabado... en mi casita.
